![\"Perception\"](\"http:\/\/www.enxmag.com\/twii\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/Perception-150x150.jpg\")
nuinely interested and willing to listen, you are given an incredible opportunity to hear the stories of others; to gain new knowledge and maybe even pass along some of their wisdom.<\/p>\nMeeting amazing people is just one of the reasons I stole the line from Gene Simmons, \u201cIt\u2019s good to be me.\u201d It is good to be me. Smart people, adventurous people, passionate people, successful people (as they define success), creative people, people with purpose, people outside the mainstream, people in about every walk of life imaginable. A day rarely goes by that I don\u2019t have the opportunity to meet someone new and fascinating. For the record, everybody is fascinating. Everybody has a story to tell. If you are genuinely interested and willing to listen, you are given an incredible opportunity to hear the stories of others; to gain new knowledge and maybe even pass along some of their wisdom.<\/p>\n
Recently, over a cup of coffee, I met Joyce Layman who has to be one of the greatest connectors of people and ideas on the planet. After just a few minutes with her you would think she wrote the book on connecting. Actually, she did, and it\u2019s titled, \u201cYour Connecting Advantage.\u201d A few days later, with a three hour flight ahead of me, I found myself reading a few more chapters in her book and coming back to the same sentence over and over. Addressing the issue of why people don\u2019t always respond to requests, she wisely suggests, \u201cDon\u2019t overthink it or craft your own story why this person hasn\u2019t responded to you.\u201d By the way, the first 5 people to contact me at Broderick@inkcycle.com and ask for a copy of Joyce\u2019s book will get one sent to them from me, and better yet, for free. The rest of you have to buy your own. If you don\u2019t get a response from your request to me for a free book, you won\u2019t have to wonder why. You will simply know that there were others who went before you. All fact, no conjecture. \u201cDon\u2019t overthink or craft your own story.\u201d Don\u2019t fill in the blanks of an unknown story.<\/p>\n
In the world of business development we are often, consciously or subconsciously, tempted to fill in the reasons why someone will or won\u2019t do what we want them to do; all without any basis of fact. The someone can be external (such as a prospect) or it can be internal (us).<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve tried this before and it never works because\u2026<\/p>\n
Nobody gets anywhere cold calling anymore because\u2026<\/p>\n
I can\u2019t because….
\nThey won\u2019t because…
\nThey didn\u2019t because…<\/p>\n
In other words, we predict the outcome which then creates the reality.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t fill in the blanks of an unknown story. I had been looking for a way to describe one of the biggest limiters I see in sales today, the concept of over-thinking\/speculating\/conjecturing to the point of making up a dialogue in the mind that, replayed enough times, becomes a false belief. The false belief is then reinforced and eventually becomes accepted as truth.<\/p>\n
Let\u2019s look at two common versions of \u201cfilling in the blanks and writing our own false story.\u201d One is based on false hope, the other in false fear.<\/p>\n
1. False Hope: \u201cBoss, I just had a great meeting with the prospect!\u201d \u201cWhat made it great?\u201d \u201cWe just really hit it off.\u201d Three months later the prospect can\u2019t be found. Why? The rep had no foundation; no real reason to believe it was a great meeting other than not getting the boot or an emphatic, \u201cno.\u201d The rep ended up writing the fictional story in his mind of an event that simply never really took place. Now don\u2019t get me wrong. The rep wasn\u2019t lying. He believed what he said. And as he heard himself say it again and again, he accepted it as truth. He wrote his own fictional story and filled in his own blanks. This kind of hope is not optimism; it is delusion. It\u2019s perfectly acceptable and appropriate to be hopeful, to be optimistic, and to see the sunny side of things. It is NOT acceptable to delude yourself into believing that you had a great meeting when in fact, it was merely friendly and cordial and concluded with no basis for further actions. Here is a glimpse of an internal discussion between our thoughts and our brain.<\/p>\n
Thought: \u201cHow did that meeting go?\u201d
\nBrain: \u201cGreat! I didn\u2019t have to worry about a thing.\u201d
\nThought: \u201cI thought so too.
\nGreat meeting!\u201d
\nSelf (Better Question): \u201cDid I meet the planned objective for that meeting?\u201d
\nBrain: \u201cNo.\u201d
\nThought: \u201cThat was not a good meeting.\u201d<\/p>\n
2. False Fear: \u201cWe can\u2019t do XYZ. I know what they really need, what they really think, how they really will act… Networking doesn\u2019t work\u2026 Cold calling never works.\u201d Sales managers have heard them all! They label these as excuses while the rep calls them reasons. I have personally witnessed reps become so locked up by writing the wrong head script that they would dial the weather number just so they didn\u2019t have to reach out to a prospect! Yes, there used to be telephone numbers you could call for the weather report. Al Gore came along and changed everything. Everything except the brain equating rejection or embarrassment with something worse than death.<\/p>\n
The brain, with its 100 billion nerve cells is the greatest connector ever! Connecting bodily movement. Connecting thoughts. Connecting the wiring throughout the body. Connecting ideas. The brain\u2019s ability to process information is staggering. Ask the brain a question and it WILL provide an answer. But, just like any computer program, garbage in, garbage out. Ask the wrong question, you still get an answer, not the right one, not a helpful one, but the brain doesn\u2019t care. The brain will not rest until an answer is found, until the blanks are filled in. The answer it comes up with is based on the question it is being asked. It will connect the dots\u2026it will fill in the blanks. And often times, it will help craft a story to keep you safe, to keep you from failing, to keep you from trying.<\/p>\n
Thought: \u201cOh big and wonderful brain, I just stated that, \u2018I can\u2019t cold call.\u2019 Why did I think that?\u201d
\nBrain: \u201cBecause it hasn\u2019t worked for you in a while.\u201d
\nThought: \u201cOh yeah. Cold calling doesn\u2019t work.\u201d
\nSelf (Better question): \u201cBrain, how can I increase the number of conversations I have with people who I haven\u2019t met before?\u201d
\nBrain: \u201cLet\u2019s see, we can\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t mean to turn this into a debate about the merits of cold calling so don\u2019t get hung up on any specific topic. As a side note, if you believe that cold calling never works, try thinking of it in terms of \u201creaching out to someone new to have a conversation.\u201d Better yet, take a look at some of your strong beliefs and determine whether they are beliefs or facts.
\nThought: \u201cBrain, why is it good to be me? Please provide additional evidence.\u201d Note: I asked the brain for something specific, not merely an opinion.<\/p>\n
Brain: \u201cBecause of the people you meet. As an example, at the Executive Connection Summit, hosted by MWAi and always filled with incredibly interesting people, you had the opportunity to hear two Navy Seals talk about winning and leading. Jocko Willink and Leif Babin shared, among other things, their Four Laws of Combat. Powerful and thought provoking, real life, actionable lessons entirely applicable to business. Lessons that you can use and share with others!\u201d<\/p>\n
Thought: \u201cExactly, it really is good to be me! And as much as I would enjoy sharing details of their talk, I am not giving away any of their material, those guys are Seals! If anybody wants that information, they can be contacted at info@echelonfront.com or go buy their book, \u201cExtreme Ownership.\u201d<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s your assignment: Decide to stop filling in the blanks with either false hope or false fear. Start asking your brain the right questions and listen for the answers. And if people aren\u2019t responding the way you want them to, don\u2019t speculate why\u2026ask them. Like your brain, they will give you answers. If you don\u2019t know how to ask, check out John Baker\u2019s book, \u201cThe Asking Formula.\u201d Yes, I\u2019ve heard John speak a couple of times\u2026just one more reason it is good to be me.<\/p>\n
PS: I am in no way affiliated with any of the people I mention. They just do cool stuff.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Meeting amazing people is just one of the reasons I stole the line from Gene Simmons, \u201cIt\u2019s good to be me.\u201d It is good to be me. Smart people, adventurous people, passionate people, successful people (as they define success), creative people, people with purpose, people outside the mainstream, people in about every walk of life imaginable. A day rarely goes by that I don\u2019t have the opportunity to meet someone new and fascinating. For the record, everybody is fascinating. Everybody has a story to tell. If you are genuinely interested and willing to listen, you are given an incredible opportunity to hear the stories of others; to gain new knowledge and maybe even pass along some of their wisdom. Recently, over a cup of coffee, I met Joyce Layman who has to be one of the greatest connectors of people and ideas on the planet. After just a few minutes with her you would think she wrote the book on connecting. Actually, she did, and it\u2019s titled, \u201cYour Connecting Advantage.\u201d A few days later, with a three hour flight ahead of me, I found myself reading a few more chapters in her book and coming back to the same sentence over and over. Addressing the issue of why people don\u2019t always respond to requests, she wisely suggests, \u201cDon\u2019t overthink it or craft your own story why this person hasn\u2019t responded to you.\u201d By the way, the first 5 people to contact me at Broderick@inkcycle.com and ask for a copy of Joyce\u2019s book will get one sent to them from me, and better yet, for free. The rest of you have to buy your own. If you don\u2019t get a response from your request to me for a free book, you won\u2019t have to wonder why. You will simply know that there were others who went before you. All fact, no conjecture. \u201cDon\u2019t overthink or craft your own story.\u201d Don\u2019t fill in the blanks of an unknown story. In the world of business development we are often, consciously or subconsciously, tempted to fill in the reasons why someone will or won\u2019t do what we want them to do; all without any basis of fact. The someone can be external (such as a prospect) or it can be internal (us). I\u2019ve tried this before and it never works because\u2026 Nobody gets anywhere cold calling anymore because\u2026 I can\u2019t because…. They won\u2019t because… They didn\u2019t because… In other words, we predict the outcome which then creates the reality. Don\u2019t fill in the blanks of an unknown story. I had been looking for a way to describe one of the biggest limiters I see in sales today, the concept of over-thinking\/speculating\/conjecturing to the point of making up a dialogue in the mind that, replayed enough times, becomes a false belief. The false belief is then reinforced and eventually becomes accepted as truth. Let\u2019s look at two common versions of \u201cfilling in the blanks and writing our own false story.\u201d One is based on false hope, the other in false fear. 1. False Hope: \u201cBoss, I just had a great meeting with the prospect!\u201d \u201cWhat made it great?\u201d \u201cWe just really hit it off.\u201d Three months later the prospect can\u2019t be found. Why? The rep had no foundation; no real reason to believe it was a great meeting other than not getting the boot or an emphatic, \u201cno.\u201d The rep ended up writing the fictional story in his mind of an event that simply never really took place. Now don\u2019t get me wrong. The rep wasn\u2019t lying. He believed what he said. And as he heard himself say it again and again, he accepted it as truth. He wrote his own fictional story and filled in his own blanks. This kind of hope is not optimism; it is delusion. It\u2019s perfectly acceptable and appropriate to be hopeful, to be optimistic, and to see the sunny side of things. It is NOT acceptable to delude yourself into believing that you had a great meeting when in fact, it was merely friendly and cordial and concluded with no basis for further actions. Here is a glimpse of an internal discussion between our thoughts and our brain. Thought: \u201cHow did that meeting go?\u201d Brain: \u201cGreat! I didn\u2019t have to worry about a thing.\u201d Thought: \u201cI thought so too. Great meeting!\u201d Self (Better Question): \u201cDid I meet the planned objective for that meeting?\u201d Brain: \u201cNo.\u201d Thought: \u201cThat was not a good meeting.\u201d 2. False Fear: \u201cWe can\u2019t do XYZ. I know what they really need, what they really think, how they really will act… Networking doesn\u2019t work\u2026 Cold calling never works.\u201d Sales managers have heard them all! They label these as excuses while the rep calls them reasons. I have personally witnessed reps become so locked up by writing the wrong head script that they would dial the weather number just so they didn\u2019t have to reach out to a prospect! Yes, there used to be telephone numbers you could call for the weather report. Al Gore came along and changed everything. Everything except the brain equating rejection or embarrassment with something worse than death. The brain, with its 100 billion nerve cells is the greatest connector ever! Connecting bodily movement. Connecting thoughts. Connecting the wiring throughout the body. Connecting ideas. The brain\u2019s ability to process information is staggering. Ask the brain a question and it WILL provide an answer. But, just like any computer program, garbage in, garbage out. Ask the wrong question, you still get an answer, not the right one, not a helpful one, but the brain doesn\u2019t care. The brain will not rest until an answer is found, until the blanks are filled in. The answer it comes up with is based on the question it is being asked. It will connect the dots\u2026it will fill in the blanks. And often times, it will help craft a story to keep you safe, to keep you from failing, to keep you from trying. Thought: \u201cOh big […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":70,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[82],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.enxmag.com\/twii\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17231"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.enxmag.com\/twii\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.enxmag.com\/twii\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.enxmag.com\/twii\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/70"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.enxmag.com\/twii\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17231"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.enxmag.com\/twii\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17231\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17234,"href":"https:\/\/www.enxmag.com\/twii\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17231\/revisions\/17234"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.enxmag.com\/twii\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17231"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.enxmag.com\/twii\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17231"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.enxmag.com\/twii\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17231"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}